The Stress of Yes

Do you have a margin?  A nothing space?  A place to rest and just be?  Every book does– the margin or white space around the words creates a place for our eyes to rest or our eyes would go crazy reading words right off the page.  Now let me ask you this…does your schedule have a margin too?  Or are you suffering from the stress of yes?

Let’s find out:

  • Do you feel tired every day or well rested and energetic for the day?
  • Are you getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night?
  • Are you eating breakfast every day?
  • Are you impatient and your favorite slogan is “hurry up” we have to go?
  • Do you say yes to every opportunity because you have the disease to please?

Same with our schedules; filling them to the max is conducive to excess stress.  I’m speaking from experience here!

I read one of the best books ever on the subject of decision-making: The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands by Lysa TerKeurst.  It showed up in my inbox as an ad from Amazon; you know the ones – “you’ve read this book so we recommend that book.”  Well, I’m not sure how Amazon does it, but they were right on. 

As moms, we have decisions to make in every direction: should I sign my kids up for this afterschool activity, what about attending that birthday party or what about what to do with the rest of my life?  How do we decide whether to say YES?  Let me share a few things I learned as I read this book:

  • Decisions can change our schedules. I love this quote from the book: “The decisions we make determine the schedules we keep and the schedules we keep determines the life we live.” These new opportunities in my inbox required additional worktime of a couple of hours per week and additional travel. I had to think about how this decision would affect my time while realizing saying yes to something means also saying no to something else. If I didn’t give up something, I would guarantee this yes would instead become stress.
  • Check yourself before you YES yourself. Ask yourself about four key areas (financial, physical, emotional and spiritual resources) to determine how saying yes will fit. Financially, will there be additional expenses on my part? What about physically? Do I have physical space for this decision; do I have time and energy for this yes decision? Emotionally, can my stress level handle this? Will I still have some sort of balance in my life? And spiritually, is this the path that fits my values? Is this who I am created to be?
  • Chase down your decision. The author shares this tool for visual people like me – to put things on paper and see the bigger picture. Asking yourself the basic question of what will your future look like if you say yes to this decision? After the excitement wears off, can I sustain this new opportunity in the months or years ahead? Will saying yes affect anyone else in my life?

Now analysis paralysis is a real thing.  We can over analyze every decision to excess.  But with these questions, you may have a better guide on what direction to take. I’ve noticed that by taking a little time to ask these questions, I make better decisions.  And better decisions make for a better life.  Don’t delay – make your decision today!  It’s another ingredient in creating the recipe to a nourishing life!

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